One Little Vulcan
by JustInPotato
Summary: Everything seems fine on the Enterprise. But it's not. Not for Spock. Not for Jim. Jim breaks Spock's heart but he doesn't know it.However, Jim figures out why and there's no good outcome. Not for Spock. Not for Jim and not for one little Vulcan K/S mpreg
1. Chapter 1

Dudes, like "duh," I do not own the Star Trek Franchise.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Star Trek etc...Wish I did but I don't. Like if I did own it I would totally make that movie so Slash-a-licious! But seriously I do not claim I own Strek either. I do not own it etc...

* * *

"Ah..."

"Nghh..."

The room flittered with grunts and moans that mingled with the sound of moist flesh collided with one another. The sounds of pleasure echoed throughout the heated room and tangled bodies created the creaks from the beaten bed.

"J-jim...ah!" Spock gasped as he was thrust harshly against his head board. "Not so...ngh...hard."

Jim didn't listen. He never did. At least never on nights like these. Not on nights...when he really wasn't there.

Spock bit his lip trying to force down his cry of pain. Tears burned the corners of his eyes threatening to spill, and he illogically cursed the existence of his tear ducts. Jim had never been this brutal with him before. He could feel his hips bruising even further due to constricting pressure from Jim's grip.

Several bruises, scratches, and sex bites polluted his pale body. Spock knew he could easily push away his captain, beat him with his superior strength. But Spock couldn't risk it. Logic screamed at him that he should stop this, stop all of it, but Spock couldn't listen to his logic. Not like this, not when his...Jim was like this. Not when Jim was...his.

"Nrgh!" Spock's lip bled as Jim pummeled deep within him.

Spock could feel himself nearing completion, and he could assume that Jim was nearing his as the speed suddenly took a rapid turn. Spock could no longer hold in his animalistic symphony.

It seemed like eons, as well as mere nanoseconds before it was all over.

Jim let out a muddled groan as he released. Spock buried himself in the crook of Jim's nape before, without thinking, biting Jim's neck trying helplessly to muffle his own cry of ecstasy.

The Captain promptly collapsed on top of Spock. Spock took a minute to regain his breath. He could feel Jim's seed within him, the warmth burning his insides. He shivered at the sensation.

Carefully he embraced the Captain, taking in his warmth and presence that his heart ached so much for. He deeply wished that this moment would last forever or even just a few minutes, just him and the Captain.

But it never does.

Jim rustled away from the embrace as he released himself from the confines of Spock's inner being. Spock regrettably looked up. His Captain was looking directly at him, yet not at the same time. His gaze was dull and bore no life. There were no signs of consciousness, just a gaze with depths of no existence. A gaze that broke Spock's heart every time, and every day.

Spock knew what was going to happen, like it always did, but every time it hurt like it was the first time. Jim sluggishly stood off from the bed, wiping away any evidence and re-clothed himself from the articles of clothing that had found its way onto the floor. All Spock could do was sit up and watch as his Captain begin to exist his quarters, helplessly wishing in vain that the Captain would stay with him tonight. Just one night was enough.

But he didn't. His Captain was gone, and all Spock could murmur was,

"...Thy'la..."

* * *

**Author**: Ah ha! I might continue this and I might not depending on what you guys think of it. And if you guys like it enough.

So Please review to let me know or just to review anything really.

Reviews will tell me if you all are interesting in this. I have a general plot and stuff already. But I'm open to a lot of things. Also title ideas, I'm still iffy about the title.

Also Jim probably gonna probably be a dick, but that'll be explained later. But for a majority of this he'll be a dick and super D-bad in many situations. But I still love him.


	2. Chapter 2

Dudes, like "duh," I do not own the Star Trek Franchise.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Star Trek etc...Wish I did but I don't. Like if I did own it I would totally make that movie so Slash-a-licious! But seriously I do not claim I own Star trek either. I do not own it etc...

I'm also relatively new to this whole fandom thing.

In this chapter you Jim is not a dick.

* * *

Spock tried his best to walk in his usual manner, but it was difficult. His body was incredibly sore and the numerous bruises were not helping to aid his pain. He could barely move his body off of the bed. It had taken him 25.123 minutes longer than usual to prepare for his daily duties.

He winced as he took another few steps, it burned. He began to contemplate whether he should return to his quarters and rest. His body stiffened when he heard the swish of the door beside his quarter.

"Hey! Spock!"

Spock tried his best to move away, ignoring the call but his current sluggish speed was no match for the peppy Captain. And before he knew it the Captain was in front of him.

"Captain, is there something you require at this moment?" Spock replied dead-pan, opting to look at his Captain's eyebrows rather than his eyes. He couldn't take those blinding blues just yet.

"No, not really. Just never thought I'd see the day when the almighty punctual Spock was late for work. Why are you late anyway Spock? And you are late,don't argue, about 26 minutes actually. " The Captain quirked an eyebrow in almost a Vulcan fashion with a teasing smirk on his lips.

Spock felt his ears begin to burn in embarrassment. "I assure you Captain that this will not ha-." Before he could finish the Captain interrupted him.

"Being late is nothing to be ashamed of. Lighten up." With that said Jim playfully smacked Spock in the arm.

Spock bit his lip as his winced at the impact. He knew it was meant to be a "friendly" and "mano-a-mano" human ritual of speech, and was used to it since the Captain seemed to prefer such notions, however, the Captain smacked him directly onto one of his deepest bruises.

"Hey...you okay?" Jim cautiously brought a hand toward Spock arm forgetting for minute that Vulcan's don't like to be touched. "Here let me see th-"

Spock jerked away from the Captain's traveling hand, stunning the Captain a bit in the process.

"I assure you Captain I am fine. One of my possessions fell from my shelving unit and proceeded to collide with my arm. The area of collision appears to be bruising." It wasn't a lie.

Earlier that morning a book did fall off his shelf and smashed into his already bruised arm. He regrettably used the shelf to support him to prevent from collapsing onto the ground from another dizzy spell. But the force he applied onto the shelf caused some of his belongings to fall. It had been illogical of him to assume that the shelf could hold his weight capacity after all the abuse it had suffered from various...events.

"Oh. Is that why you're late? You should go to Bones to see if you broke anything or something." Jim recommended.

"I am fine Captain. It is only a minor ailment and does not require the extent of medical assistance."

"You sure? I mean what if yo-"

"Captain I am fine." Spock glanced down at Jim when he noticed a rather large white patch plastered onto the side of his neck. Spock could feel a blush creep across his face and used nearly ever ounce of control to prevent it from reaching visibility. "May I inquire as to why you are late as well Captain? Is it because of your own bodily repercussions, such as the one on your neck?"

"Huh? Oh this?" Jim pointed to his neck. "Oh, erm...it was from yesterday's away mission."

"Oh. I see Captain." Spock his best to hide his disappointment.

"Yeah, that's why I'm late too. You know...those fatality reports take a long time and...all." The Captain was looking at the ground like it was the most interesting thing in the world but Spock could see the pain that etched their way onto pools of endless blue.

That explained why the Captain had been so barbaric. The occurrence hadn't been the most tragic event to commence. Far from it, but the pain of losing nearly 73 crew members perished yesterday due to inconceivable events that had occurred. The guilt that often seemed to riddled Jim because his life was spared yet so many died. It was just supposed to be a normal, peaceful away mission. But it wasn't. Even though they had been assured that it was completely safe, and trustworthy multiple times. But it had been a trick.

"Should have never listened to those bastards." Jim mumbled as he rubbed his neck.

The Captain wasn't unscathed from the events yesterday nearly losing his own limbs and life. A deeply purple bruise made itself known on his face and as well as the cuts that flutter down his neck.

"Captain, you had no way of knowing that such peril would exude from yesterday's situations." Spock watched the Captain sigh and his shoulders sag.

"Let's just go to work Spock." Jim unconsciously grabbed Spock's elbow. For some reason wanting to just touch something, even Spock. He began to walk off with Spock in tow.

Spock uncharacteristically let Jim guide him, his eyes wandering along Jim's back. His t'hy'la was suffering more than he let on, more than he always let on. The pain of losing members of what his Captain called family. The guilt of assuring them that they would be safe in his command, that he would lead them without harm. The guilt that he was alive. Spock could feel all those things through a simple touch. Feel all the things that caused...everything.

* * *

_"Arghhhhhhhh! dammit! Damn! Damn! Dammit all!" Jim thundered as he smashed his fists over and over again against the table. Blood seeping from his hands and smearing across the table. Burning tears prickling his eyes._

_"Dammit Jim! Stop!" Mccoy shouted trying his best to physically restrain the Captain and his best friend before it got worse than it already was. He needed to sedate Jim. But that was almost impossible with Jim acting like a beast. "For the love of God Jim! Stop this now!"_

_"No!" Jim shoved the doctor with all his might sending the doctor flailing to the ground. "You stop! You stop Bones!" Anger seeped through his straining voice._

_Mccoy stumbled back to his feet. The Captain was being an idiot. "You're being a fucking idiot! You need medical attention now!"_

_"I don't need anything! I don't fucking need anything!" Jim shouted getting off the bio bed._

_"You're gonna die! And it won't be my-"_

_"Well maybe I should then!" Jim's eyes were blazing._

_"You're crazy! You're fucking Captain so-!"_

_"I am not Captain Bones!"_

_Mccoy was thrown back for a bit. Jim obvious must has smashed his fucking head on something. Hard. "What're you talking about! You're Cap-"_

_"Stop! Stop calling me Captain!" Jim threw the table across the room narrowly missing a trembling nurse who proceeded to scramble away. "I'm not the fucking Captain!"_

_"Yeah! Well, guess what too bad! You are the Captain!" Mccoy had it. This was crazy. "Acting like a fucking child! So much for being the youngest Capt-" A medical tray pummeled into McCoy's chest._

_"Stop calling me Captain!"Jim fury was even more evident and his hands clamping down hard over his ears. Like a child that didn't want to listen. His nails digging into his scalp._

_Before Mccoy could throttle back at the Captain continued on._

_"Stop it!" Jim continued to trash the Sickbay before he paused, his breath hitching, tears escaping. "I said stop calling me Captain. I'm not the Captain...please just stop it."_

_Jim was sobbing now repeating continuously "stop". His hands pressing tighter and harder against his ear while his eyes were clutched tightly together. His body had collapsed onto the ground, his legs to weak to hold him up anymore. He couldn't take it anymore...his struggle wasn't worth it._

_Mccoy eyes widened in shock as he just witnessed his Capt- no, his best friend just fall into hysteria before him. He just watched his friend break. The Captain was broken. And Bones couldn't do anything. Before he could do anything to prevent it. Before...this just wasn't fair. It just really wasn't fair._

_The doctor stood up, ignoring the throbbing pain in his chest. But he couldn't ignore the emotional pain. His best friend didn't deserve this, Jim didn't deserve this. He should have known better. He slowly and cautiously made his way to Jim._

_"Jim. Jim listen to me. It wasn't your fault. None of this was your fau-"_

_"It was all my fault!"Jim sobbed out his hands clawing even harder against his skull. "All my fucking fault. They all, oh god, they all!"_

_Mccoy grabbed onto Jim's wrists as tight as he could. There was no way Mccoy was going to let Jim do that to himself, hurt himself more than he already was. But Jim began thrashing his arms wildly._

_"Let go. Let go of me!" Jim demanded almost childishly._

_But Mccoy didn't let go. Instead Mccoy did the only thing he could due for a child. Yes, a child. Jim was a child right now. Mccoy embraced Jim, pulling his arms down so Jim couldn't punish himself anymore. He tightened his grip as he felt Jim try to scurry away._

_"Jim...listen to me Jim. It's going to be okay." Mccoy was lying, he had no idea if it was going to be okay because right now it wasn't okay at all._

_"Don't lie to me...Don't lie to me anymore. I don't want to be lied to anymore...no more lies. Oh god Bones...they were...they were..." Jim cried, he cried so hard. And he hadn't cried so hard in so long. He thought he didn't have to again. But he was wrong._

_"Shh...shhhh...it's gonna be...Jim...it's gonna be...Just don't think about it anymore. Just..." At this point Mccoy couldn't take it any longer and began to spill his own tears._

_There they were. Two fully grown men. Two fully capable and successful men cried. Cried for their fallen comrades, and for themselves._

* * *

"You're crazy."

"Bones, I'm being serious." Jim proclaimed as he sat in front of his best friend, trying to put on his best serious face possible.

"Sure you are. Of course some evil voodoo alien has taken over your body! That makes perfect sense!" Mccoy huffed. This wasn't the first time Jim decided to just take a trip to medical bay to go on about his weird theories of him being possessed.

"No, look." Jim quickly snapped off the white bandage on his neck. He revealed the dark purple and oval bruise. It was or the results of an obvious bite mark.

"God dammit Jim. I do not need see anymore of your sex wounds!" McCoy rolled his eyes . It wasn't the first time either that Jim showed off his "battle scars". "It's your own damn fault for being a masochist."

"I am not a maso-, that's not the point Bones!"

"Then what the hell is the point? You're wasting my time."And Jim really was, McCoy had to fill out so much paper work due to all the causalities. Jim definitely was not helping with his insistence to talk about his sex life or whatever the hell he was talking about at the moment.

"Bones, I didn't sleep with anyone last night or at least I don't think so."

"Were you drunk again? How many time do I have to tell yo-"

"I wasn't drunk either. This mark, and all of these." Jim stood up abruptly and lifted his shirt. He had several deep scratches along his hips and his backside over his purpling skin. "I swear Bones, I have no idea how I got these."

"You got them yesterday because of the away mission. Jim, you're delirious." McCoy was readying a hypospray. Something to help with all the crap Jim got yesterday since obviously the pain was going his head. Though Jim was actually taking yesterday's fiasco pretty damn well. He had to admit he was lucky that Jim wasn't acting like that time...before.

It scared the living crap out of him that Jim would...be like that again. If Jim was on anything, Bones swore he better stay on it. Hell, Bones would prescribe him more of whatever it was, because he wasn't sure if he himself could take another trial like that.

"Not the bruises Bones. The scratches and this bite mark. I didn't have them yesterday." Jim pulled his shirt down, and sat back down before sighing. "When I woke up I was on the floor next to my door. With a shirt on that I didn't even have on when I went to sleep, and I lost that shirt weeks ago Bones."

It was getting crazy. Jim felt like he was going crazy. At first he thought he had just rolled off the bed, or must have unconsciously gone to the bathroom and just passed out. That it was all just a coincidence. After the first few times that would have made sense, but it wasn't the first few times anymore. This has been going on for months now. Granted not everyday, but it was freaking Jim out.

He was waking up with different shirts, no shirts, and sometimes no underwear. The places he woke up were far and in between his bed. Worse all of his body was usually marred with a bruise or a hickey or two. Sometimes scratches, and he knew he couldn't physically scratch himself to create those. He tried to, but the angle and the placement it wasn't in his reach. That proved that someone else was doing this to him.

"I'm not doing this to myself Bones. Someone or something is. You've gotta help me Bones."

McCoy sighed. He gave up. "Fine, fine. I'll examine you. If you're right then I'll help you out, but if you're not get the hell out of my office."

"Thanks Bones."

"Yeah, yeah. Now shut up."

The examination proved that Jim was right. Not that he was possessed by an evil voodoo wielding alien, but that he wasn't doing this to himself. He really couldn't have unless he was double-jointed or suddenly able to stretch like no other. The scratches on his back started from the center of the base of his neck and swooped down, nearly engraving themselves into Jim's skin. But the scratches weren't the most disturbing, it was the bite mark. It was now almost a perfect oval. Who ever bit him, not only sunk their teeth in him but obviously rotated their jaw as they bit him. So he couldn't make an imprint of the bite mark or trace it. It actually looked more like a cookie cutter attacked Jim rather than another thing.

"Well, you obviously slept with Satan." McCoy wanted to make sure, because if Jim wasn't sleeping anyone to cause all this, well that was just weird.

"I didn't sleep with anyone. I'm sure, pretty sure anyway." Jim stated as he put his shirt back on. "I'm right aren't I? You're going to help right?"

McCoy wanted to stab Jim at the moment with his pen, but he would lose his drinking buddy and that was not an option. In a crew like this you were going to need a drinking buddy. But why the hell did all the weird crap happen to Jim? Why couldn't something be normal for once?

"Yeah, whatever. Not now though. I have too much work to do right now, but later. Now out of my office."

"Whatever you say doctor." Jim was about to leave when Bones called him.

"Wait a minute Jim."

"Wha-arghhhh!" Jim hissed as he felt a sting at the side of his neck.

Mccoy jabbed the hypospray into Jim's neck, a littler forceful than usual.

Maybe McCoy was a sadist.

* * *

**Author:** First off, Yo dudes **thanks a million for the reviews!** Those mean a lot and make me all warm and fuzzy on the inside, no matter how Corney that is. It lets me know ya'll are reading it.

Also, I am actually really new to this fandom, and most of my info is from the new movie and the internet. Keeping in character is hard, especially when my grasp of the characters isn't that strong yet, but heck I'm trying.

So I don't know a lot, but I'm researching as I go with writing this. So this whole thingy is a learning process for me.

Right now I think everything is vague. But, mehhhh. I mean in Mccoy and Kirk's fight thing they did drop the "f" bomb a lot I admit, but dudes their like adults, and most people do.

I'll only continue to write as long as you all continue to read it. So reviews are the things that let me know that ya'll are reading it and letting me know what the freak I'm doing wrong.


	3. Chapter 3

Dudes, like "duh," I do not own the Star Trek Franchise.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Star Trek etc...Wish I did but I don't. Like if I did own it I would totally make that movie so Slash-a-licious! But seriously I do not claim I own Strek either. I do not own it etc...

So how are ya'll? And man I'm seriously writing like bullets on this thing.

* * *

"Hey, Spock. You okay?" Uhura asked placing a cup of tea in front. He looked like he seriously needed it. Even though most people probably couldn't tell since Spock seemed like he always did, but Uhura called it friendly intuition. After all she did date the Vulcan, even though she still didn't understand him completely, but the little things like discomfort she could detect.

"I am fine lieutenant." Spock replied curtly but nodding in thanks for the tea. Inwardly he was wincing, his assumption that he was physically able to continue on with his daily duties had been a drastic one. Spock could barely stand sitting down. That hard exterior of his chair was pressing at his bruises as his weight forced himself down on the chair.

"Spock, stop calling me lieutenant. Captain gave us a _ten_ minute break, and everyone needs it. We're not on duty now so stop with the formalities." Uhura leaned against his console.

"I suppose so...Nyota. Is there something you wish to discuss with me?" Spock sipped his tea, letting the warmth seep into his body.

He and Uhura diffused their relationship awhile back, almost instantaneously after Kirk acquired his Captain status and they parted for their first official mission. Uhura was the one to officially discontinue their relationship for it went "no where". But they both fortunately realized that it would be best if they remained friends. Their romantic attempts didn't kindle well with one another and so they remained platonic. Which Spock greatly appreciated, friendship was very dear to him.

"I just can't believe the Captain!" She huffed, displeasure written all over her face.

Spock quirked a brow. "You cannot believe that he has given us a period of rest?"

"No, that's not what I meant." Uhura gave a small chuckle before returning to her previous displeasure. "What I meant is, I can't believe that the Captain is still a pig even after...even after yesterday! And you know what I mean Spock."

Spock nodded sipping his tea, though he was slightly confused.

"Did you see that huge bandage on his neck? Pfft like that's going to hide anything." She flipped her hair rolling her eyes in disgust. She couldn't believe that the Captain still had no decency.

"I have spoken to the Captain about that earlier, and he claims that it is from yesterday's...occurrences." Though Spock considered Uhura a friend, he was still very reclusive about the details of...his life.

"Oh, he probably got that yesterday all right." Uhura huffed. "Having sex after all that, and worse yet probably with some frightened and shocked crew member. That's taking advantage of someones emotional needs!"

Spock diverted his gaze from Uhura and pressed the empty cup against his lips. He felt a sense of guilt broil within.

"I have heard and assumed that humans tend to use sexual release as way for relieving stress and emotional tragedies."

"Yeah well that still makes him a -Hey, Spock you okay?" Uhura quickly pressed her hand against Spock shoulder, trying to support him. She hastily became worried as Spock suddenly slumped forward.

"I am...capable Nyota." Spock said as calmly as possible but found himself accepting Uhura support though wincing as she pressed against his bruises. He was dizzy again, his vision blurring and his strength fading him. These dizzy spells of various intensities had been occurring for weeks now. And the cause was still unknown to Spock, but he assumed it was due to lack of rest. He had not been able to achieve the optimal amount of rest required for even a Vulcan nor spare time to mediate for the necessaries amounts of time.

"You sure? I know you can be stubborn. You know Spock, you can tell me anything. I am your friend you know."

"..."

"Spock I'm not a loud mouth like the Cap-"

"Okay crew break is over!" Jim exclaimed as he made his way out of the lift.

"Speak of the devil." Uhura murmured before she gently squeezed Spock's shoulders. She was worried. "You can tell me later. And we are going to have talk later. Trust me."

Spock just watched Uhura return to her station before he returned to his console only to find the Captain standing right next to him. His acute Vulcan senses seemed to be fading him as of late.

"Something wrong Spock?" Jim asked, his eyes brimming with curiosity.

"There is nothing wrong at the moment Captain." Spock placed his cup away.

"Really now? Well I guess it's nothing wrong. But it did look like you and Uhura were getting back together. Have the old flames of your romance begun to burn?" Jim teased, he was glad Spock was getting someone or at least getting some. And boy, did the crew know he probably needed it.

"I assure Captain neither Uhura or I am capable of igniting objects. Also we are just friends." Spock stated.

"Friends or _Friends_?" Jim emphasized the last part and wiggled his eyebrows.

"Our relationship is purely platonic." Spock just gave him a look, and Jim knew that look very well. Granted it wasn't much different from his usual look, but Jim just got it.

"Fine, fine. I'll stop. But really, I think you should find someone. Just my opinion as a worried, you know, friend." With that said Jim playfully patted Spock on the back before returning to his chair.

Spock twiddled his fingers.

"But I already did...t'h'yla." He whispered quietly to himself.

No one heard him. Especially not Jim.

* * *

_"I never thought I'd say this but thank god you're here."_

_Spock raised an eyebrow at the doctor's statement, the doctor had called for him. He had just walked into the Sickbay assuming he would find a properly aided Captain in tow. However, what he found was an obviously unconscious, tattered, bloodied Captain that seemed to have received no medical treatment within the arms of the Doctor. Within closer observation the Doctor himself was coated with blood, more likely the Captain's, looking no better than the Captain and the Sickbay had been inflicted with it's own ordeal._

_"Doctor, I believe that it is in the best interest of this crew that you give proper medical treatment to the Captain."_

_Spock by now could tell from the facial expression that etched itself on the Doctor's face that he was going to exclaim an insult towards him. However, the Doctor did not, but rather murmur quietly,that if not for Spock's hearing sensitivity he would have heard._

_"Fucking cruel, insensitive-assed, cold hearted, green-blooded hobgoblin." Mccoy hissed under his breath. If it was a usual situation he wouldn't have any restraint to proclaim his opinions of the first commander openly. Who he still believed was wanting possession of captain status. Mccoy slowly stood up trying his best to lift Jim's body. "Just get your ass over here."_

_Spock walked towards the Doctor and the Captain. But as soon as he was within proximity the Doctor thrust the Captain's body at him._

_"I know you Vulcan's don't like touching and all that shit but I don't give a damn. Hold Jim." Mccoy barked, pressing Jim closer to the Vulcan._

_Though Spock didn't show it, in the inside he felt himself rise with panic. He just stood there with the Captain's body leaning weakly against his. He could feel the blood seeping through his uniform. It left him...feeling...odd._

_"For the love of god grab him already! We don't have much time! Here!" Mccoy didn't give a crap at the moment and grabbed Spock's arms forcing him to wrap his arms around Jim. Inevitably causing his hands to touch Jim. He could feel Spock tense. "He's lost a shit load of blood already."_

_Spock nearly flinched at the close contact once again as his hands grazed the Captains clammy skin._

_"I do not understand why medical treatment has not been administered at this point. It is illogical to wai-"_

_"Shut up! Do you think if I could have taken care of Jim that I'd actually wait till now! I'm not some heartless Vulcan like you." Mccoy quickly scurried around the medical bay for his tricorder as he barked out orders to the frightened nurses. Who were also appearing to have assisted in a brawl._

_"Vulcans are not-"_

_"Hold him tighter damn it!" Mccoy quickly began scanning Jim. " You wanna know why I had to wait? Look around you! Look at this mess. Jim caused all this. We had to wait for you, like it or not because you're the only one strong enough to restrain Jim. Because we can't hold him down without injuring another damn person. Jim nearly broke nurse Chapel's arm, it's bad enough he sprained her wrist. Now hold him tighter before he wakes up!"_

_Spock said nothing. He hesitated but restrained the Captain. The doctor quickly pushed Spock down on the biobed and had him clasp Jim wrist and forcing him embrace Jim. Though the moment was completely improper, Spock felt a green blush plague him as he found his hands at such close contact with Jim's._

_As the Captain was receiving his medical attention, though Spock would never openly admit it, he was severely worried about the Captain. His felt himself rushing with an inexplicable amount of emotions, such as grief and despair that strangely only the Captain could cause. Which was why he had been reluctant to coming down the Sickbay on his own regard. It strange how different the flow of emotions were from when he lost his mother, and could not understand it. He wanted nothing more than for the Captain to be alright. To have him return to his proper physical state, because the Captain looked so helpless to him right now. It hurt Spock. It hurt him deeply and Spock did not know why._

_Spock was not heartless no matter what Mccoy said. He just couldn't comprehend it. It was like a nuclear physics equation, but Jim was the hardest equation he's ever known._

_"Damn the federation. Damn space! Damn Jim!" Mccoy exclaimed as he let his body slump into a chair beside the Captain's biobed. Jim was finally in stable state. Mccoy was thankful that they were in a private room now, because no one needed to see the Captain. Not now at least. "He's finally stabilized..physically anyway."_

_Spock still had Jim's wrists within his grasp as the Captain's head was propped against a pillow against his legs._

_"Am I required to still restrain the Captain's wrists doctor?"_

_"Yeah, definitely until he wakes up."_

_"Would it not be more logical for the Captain to be restrained with proper reinforcement such straps?"_

_Mccoy bit the side of his cheek as he burrowed his face into the palm of his hand. He looked like he just aged 20 years." We don't have anymore. We had to use them all. We even tore the ones off the biobeds because we didn't have enough. Hell, we had to use whatever we could get our hands on..."_

_"Doctor if I may inquire, what would require such drastic extremities?"_

_"..." Mccoy turned to look at the ground and swallowed. "We had to...we had to compress the bodies together..or what was left of them...because there wasn't enough space in the morgue..."_

_Spock didn't say anything. He was not sure if he should express his thoughts about such a morbid endeavor._

_"Hell..." Mccoy let out a scoff, he felt sick just by even talking about it. But his words just spewed out. "Hell...we even tried to put them together again... Like they were some kind of fucked up puzzle game..but all we got was a blood bath...and...Fuck those sick bastards."_

_Mccoy wanted to scream or just something because he was angry beyond belief. So angry at federation. At the messed up natives. At everything. This was all just sick. No one should ever have gone through that. No one. He felt sick just thinking about everything he witnessed._

_So he threw up in a trashcan, and continued to throw up his guts for what felt like an eternity because he couldn't take it. Bones had thought he'd seen it all, but Medical school never prepared him to see...such mutilations._

_Hours went by and neither Spock nor Mccoy spoke with one another. They didn't need to and they didn't want too. Both their attention was set on the Captain._

_"It has been nearly 3.50 hours since the procedures have been finished. Should the Captain have no woken up at least 1.25 hours ago?" Spock asked the doctor realizing that it was past overdue for the Captain to wake up._

_"He's probably just tired." Mccoy leaned over in his chair scanning Jim with his tricorder before lightly smacking his friend on the cheek trying to wake him._

_Jim didn't wake up._

_"Damn it Jim!" Mccoy shook Jim. Still no results. Mccoy cursed almost violently shaking Jim and smacking him on the cheek._

_He still didn't wake up._

_Spock felt panic brew within him quickly. Burning within him. His emotion flaring to incredible lengths._

_Mccoy scanned Jim again. "There's something wrong with this damn thing." He proceeded to whack the Tricorder against the table and try again but the scanner gave the same results as before. He cursed._

_"Jim! Jim wake up you little bastard!"Mccoy shouted, his frustrations were peaking. It didn't make any sense the scanner said everything was stable. Jim should be awake now but he wasn't._

_And so Jim was rushed for various testing, and those tests were tested again and again. All had the same results. Jim was stable. But even more hours went by and Jim didn't wake up._

_"You're not necessary anymore Spock. Go back to your quarters or whatever you do." Mccoy mumbled. His eyes were blood shot and he swore he could feel his skin peeling._

_"I am obligated to stay here for I am first commander." Spock stated glancing at Jim as his chest rose slightly up and down. It was one of the few physical signs Spock had to go by to assure himself that Jim was not dead, but still alive. He didn't to admit it, even to himself, but he was scared that if he left Jim would die. "What is causing the Captain to experience a state of coma?"_

_"Like hell would I know. It's nothing physical that's for sure." Mccoy groaned in irritation and panic. "So that just leaves it being mental and I'm not a fucking psychologist!"_

_He was tired, more tired than he ever had been. This whole ordeal was taking his toll on him both physically and now mentally. Not only taking away so many people, but now his best friend. Live it to him to have such a suck-tastic life._

_"The Captain is choosing to stay in a state of mentally induced comatose?"_

_"I don't know! I can't read his damn mind. All I can guess is that the selfish bastard wants to die. What the hell are we supposed to do now damn it?"_

_An unsteady peace filtered through the room. Only the gentle beeps of the machinery graced the atmosphere until Spock intervened._

_"I have an...idea to help release the Captain from his self inflicted comatose. Though I cannot be certain that the Captain is strong enough to handle the ordeal nor am I certain that the outcome will be successful."_

_"And what the hell would that be?" Mccoy looked at the First commander like he was the last of the beetles._

_"A mind meld."_

* * *

"So are you going to tell me what's wrong with you?" Uhura asked taking a forkful of her salad.

Their shift was over and most of the bridge went to the mess hall. Before Spock could go elsewhere Uhura cornered him so they could go to the mess hall together before the Captain could stow Spock away. Luckily, and oddly the Captain wasn't at the mess hall so it gave her enough time to have a private moment with Spock. Not to mention they were able to sit in a corner where no one could see them or eavesdrop. She knew something was up, she could sense it, and it scared her because it wasn't a pleasant feeling at all.

"As I have stated many times Nyota, I am fine and am capable of preforming my duties." Spock carefully sipped his vegetarian soup. For a very odd reason it did not feel as though it was settling correctly within his digestive system nor did it taste in its usual manner.

"I know and understand what you told me Spock but-" Uhura nearly jolted when she saw a glimpse of the dark green bruise making itself known. It was just below his wrist and high up enough on his arm where his uniform would usually cover it if he were standing up and his arms down. "What is that Spock?"

Spock quickly realizing that his bruise was suddenly becoming visible pulled up his sleeve.

"Prior to my shift today I had a small altercation with my shelving unit. A possession of mine proceeded to collide with my arm. Inevitably resulting in bruises. It is only a minor wound and contain no life threatening consequences."

"Just some object and that's all?" Uhura could have sworn that the bruise on his arm looked almost like it was caused by a hand rather than just a book or something. From what Uhura saw the bruise had wrapped around his arm, not to mention for Spock to be clumsy was odd. But Spock didn't lie. It didn't make sense and the feeling that Uhura had felt was getting more unpleasant.

Spock didn't say anything. Rather he couldn't at the moment.

Uhura glanced at Spock and he wasn't looking to well. "Spock are you o-"

Before Uhura could ask Spock shot up from his seat a proceeded quickly toward a waste bin and threw up instantly. Uhura quickly scurried toward Spock, and without thinking rubbed his back. Hoping to help and soothe Spock as he continued to throw up.

"And you said you were fine." She sighed.

It was a while before Spock finally stopped throwing up, and it even soon further worried Uhura because Spock was obviously not throwing up food anymore, but rather stomach acid.

"There is no longer a need for you to rub my back Nyota." Spock cleared his throat. It was slightly burning. He could hear the murmurs around them and felt the gazes of on lookers in the mess hall.

"Oh, sorry."

Spock looked at Uhura she was obviously concerned. "I am fine Nyota. I should have stopped my consumption of my meal when I realized an odd flavor that is not of normal standard. I can only assume that some part of an animal had been mistakenly formulated with the broth and caused my reaction. Vulcan digestive tracts though very adaptive are not very tolerant of animal products."

"That makes sense. These stupid replicators are always messing up the food. I'll write up a complaint. You should go get some rest Spock."

"I am not adverse to that suggestion." With that said Spock quickly existed the mess hall. The various fragrances present in the hall were getting to Spock, and severely at that. If it were not for the fact that he knew Uhura was following him out Spock would have most likely gone to his quarters at a faster pace. But that was not the case, so Spock had to settle for calming breaths trying to push away the nausea. It was helping but he knew it wouldn't for long.

Once he was certain that Uhura had taken another route he quickly rushed to his quarters, ignoring the suspicious glances and proceeded to regurgitate within the confines of his bathroom.

Spock was not fine.

* * *

**Author:**Hey guys! I hope you liked this chapter, and thank you so much for those that reviewed! I hope I'm getting better at writing as I progress. Also I've decided with the feedback I received to go ahead and italicize the flash backs.

So, Please review because feed back and suggestions are always appreciated! Reviews are like a fanfic writers gold or like the best piece of fish in the sea.

**Edit:: **Sorry I didn't realize there was a random bar in between some words. Fixed it now


	4. Chapter 4

Dudes, like "duh," I do not own the Star Trek Franchise.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Star Trek etc...Wish I did but I don't. Like if I did own it I would totally make that movie so Slash-a-licious! But seriously I do not claim I own Strek either. I do not own it etc...

So how are ya'll? I'm back for vacation. AND SUPER THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS. I average around 6 reviews per chapter. XD Garsh math.

Sorry for spelling and grammar mistakes.

* * *

"That's stupid."

"It's a brilliant idea Bones." Jim stated, completely ignoring the vicious glare of one Doctor McCoy.

"Fine, you're stupid." McCoy grit through his teeth. The regret of his earlier decision began piling. Not even three minutes passed since Jim's arrival at they Sickbay and Mccoy already wanted to throw him out.

"I'm actually considered a genius Bones." The captain smirked in his usual confident manner. Though a strain of nervousness dwindled in his eyes.

"To even stupider people!" McCoy snapped. "There's no way in hell that I'm doing that!"

"Come on Bones! It'll work! It's flawless."

"Flawless my ass! You could lose both your eyes! Worse you could die! And I did not spend all my fucking time trying to save your life to destroy it!" Mccoy thundered, his hands balled into tight fists. How dare Jim think of his life so lightly? After all the effort placed by the crew to try and save his life a countless number of times. Could he not see how important his life was not to just Bones, but to everyone, even the cold hearted Hobgoblin, in the crew?

"I'm already dying from god knows what Bones! Not knowing is killing me, and not just physically!" Jim argued back. "I need this Bones...I really need this. I'm going crazy." He couldn't hide the desperation that laced his voice, it wasn't worth it.

The idea of not being in control scared the crap out of Jim. Though Jim would never voice his fears, the loss of control of something as miniscule as himself nearly toppled the list. To most people it would seem that Jim was reckless, completely spontaneous and didn't give a damn about consequences. It seemed that he a lot of his choices held no composite thought, but in reality he did. Yes, he engaged in unpredictable behavior, but that was because he chose to. The power to control himself was apparent, and he was able to choose his actions and how he would react to them. He was able to chose to be reckless, spontaneous, and not give a damn about consequences.

Not knowing what he was doing, or what was happening put Jim out of control. He had no say into what his body was acting upon. It moved freely without his consent nor opinion. Already too many events conquered Jim's trivial life without his voice. The ability to administer himself was one of the few things that Jim could manage to his full competence, and for that to diminish persecuted him.

"Think of something else then. Because no matter what, Jim, I will not do the procedure. I am not going kill my best friend. Not now, not ever." McCoy looked directly into Jim's eyes. Even though he could see the pain and plead in them he would never do anything that could kill Jim even if the other option was already killing Jim.

"That was my best idea Bones. I can't think of anything else." Jim wanted to argue, protest and declare that he was able to live through a simple procedure like that. It would however been a complete lie. Even in this day and age the technology was not up to par to be able to implant something so inorganic upon a substance so sensitive and delicate.

"Why the hell does the camera have to be in your eye? Can't you like pin it on your shirt or something?" McCoy inquired.

"Spock'll notice." Jim curtly stated. His First Commander was probably the most observant man he has ever known in his life.

"Pfft. That green blooded bastard notices everything. It wasn't like he wouldn't have noticed it was in your eye. Make the camera like some crazy fashion statement, then everyone will notice like they always do when you're trying to impress some girl." The doctor snorted as images of Jim's past fashion endeavors floated across his mind. Like the time he temporarily bleached his hair pure platinum and had pink highlights because a certain guest on the ship loved the color combination...on hair. It did help that the certain guest had a rack that was rather...decadent.

"Bones that's the mo-" Jim blinked as it hit him. A grin marred its way onto his face relinquishing the previous worried expression.

"What?" Mccoy raised his eyes brows. He started to wonder if he should put Jim on lithium. Suddenly, McCoy found Jim up in his face clamping his hands on his arms with a stupid grin on his face.

"You're going to pierce my ear."

"What?"

* * *

_"What?" McCoy furrowed his brows at the pointy eared Vulcan._

_"A mind meld." Spock blankly stated though he could infer that the doctor was not satisfied with his answer._

_"I know what you said! Isn't that just your species touch telepathy? How the hell is that going to help Jim?" McCoy read about the Vulcans so called "mind meld", or what little he was able to read. There wasn't very much information about it other than the most vague and general, damn those secretive Vulcans. For all McCoy knew for certain was that it was for soley reading emotions, and McCoy didn't care about Jim's emotion as the moment. He just wanted his best friend out of coma and alive._

_"A mind meld is far more abstruse than a simplification of mere emotion."_

_"And how much more **abstruse** is a fucking mind meld?" McCoy wasn't about to place Jim in some weird alien voodoo magic concoction without knowing more about it._

_"I do not find it necessary to go into further detail as for it would seem that it is wasting our time to help the Captain." Spock tried his best to evade an explanation about something as a mind meld. It was not important to inform doctor of the full details in the configuration of a mind meld. What was important was to help Jim, and for his sake anything was necessary._

_Mccoy wanted to say something, but he knew Spock was right. He was wasting valuable time, but was he really going to permit something unexplainable to help Jim?_

_Hell yeah._

_"Fine." McCoy gritted through his teeth. "Just do whatever the hell you have to do. But you better save Jim no matter...and I mean it."_

_In the back of his mind, Mccoy knew it was a bad idea, that there had to be another way, but McCOy knew there wasn't. So he told himself to shut up. He wasn't going to let Jim die like that, in some stupid self induced coma. That wasn't heroic by any means, nor was it a death that Jim deserved. Jim had to be saved, even if it meant letting the pointy eared hobgobin do it. But McCoy was nervous to put faith into the Vulcan, and his feelings didn't quench what the Vulcan said,_

_"No matter what, I will save Jim."_

_McCoy did not trust Spock._

* * *

"Who are you trying to impress now?"

"Uhura I'm shocked that you'd assume that of me!" Jim said over dramatically with equally cheesy hand gestures. He gave a small chuckle at the sour look the communications officer.

Uhura rolled her eyes. The Captain was a pig, he seemed to do anything to get into someone's pants. "You look ridiculous."

"That's what Bones said. Well I think I look quite dashing." Though Jim had to admit he thought he looked like a wannabe. Both of his ears were pierced in the middle of the cartilage with a cuffed earrings. But it didn't matter if he looked funny, because his plan was working. Very well.

A few minutes prior to a meal at the mess hall Jim explained his brilliant plan to Bones.

"It's freakin' brilliant Bones. It'll be so noticeable that'll it'll not be noticeable!" Jim exclaimed.

"What're you talking about?" McCoy gave his friend a questionable look.

"Like you said everyone will think I'm trying to impress some girl, not that I'm wearing a camera! And it'll be easier to have with me at all times."

"...Well, that's better than your first idea." McCoy admitted. This idea was indeed better. Piercing someones ear was way easier and safer than trying to implant a camera into their eye. Not to mention the procedure took only a few seconds to complete, while the eye surgery would have taken hours. Jim's recovery time could have taken weeks with his long list of allergens as well as dreadfully painful. The captain would have been out of commission during recovery as well. McCoy supposed that maybe Jim finally came up with something that was capable, and not lethal.

"You'll do it right Bones? You have to do it Bones!"

"Fine, fine I'll do. But which ear do you want to pierce?"

"..."

Back at the Mess Hall Jim noticed Uhura giving him the most _"I'm weirded out look"_ ever. He couldn't help but laugh out loud, because apparently there was some symbolism to ear piercing, and neither he nor McCoy were actually sure what it was exactly so they just pierced both.

"What's so funny Captain?"

"Ohh it's nothing. Nothing at all." Jim waved it off, and quickly tried to change subject. "Anyway what're you doing here Uhura?"

"Aren't I allowed to eat Captain?" Uhura took a bite of her food. She wasn't able to eat earlier do to circumstances.

"No, I didn't mean it that way. _Gosh you're like Spock now_." Jim mumbled the last part. "I mean usually people are done in the Mess Hall by now after shifts."

"I could ask you the same thing Captain, but from what I can see you were too busy to get your ears pierced. Trying to get into someone's pants?" Uhura didn't want to explain what happened earlier to the Captain. She could only assume that Spock wouldn't appreciate her blabbing. "Al-"

"Hey, Uhura."

Uhura turned her head to see one of friends beside her, with a now empty tray in her hands.

"Is Mr. Spock okay?" It was Lidia from the engineering department.

"Yeah, he's okay." She replied taking a bite of her food as she caught a glance at the curious look on Jim's face.

"You sure? Because I heard he was throwing up like crazy earlier." The red shirt, Lidia explained.

If Jim was a dog he was sure his ears would have perked up at that moment. Spock was throwing up?

"No, he's fine it's because of the-" Uhura was cut off.

"I heard about it too. It's like the talk of the ship now." Sulu chimed in as he slid next to the Captain.

"Da, ve heard it on our vay here. Is Mister Spock sick?" Chekov sat beside Uhura as he bit into his sandwich.

"It's nothing to worr-"

"What do you mean Spock's sick?" Jim interrupted ignoring the emanating from Uhura. Spock being sick was like saying it was the apocalypses. Just plain weird. Not to mention it started to make Jim feel anxious.

"Seems like it Captain, apparently a bunch of crew members saw him running to his quarters like his life depended on it or something." Sulu explained.

"And that he looked wary green." Chekov sipped on his juice.

"Really? I haven't heard that. He's probably throwing up again. Poor Mr. Spock. Wasn't he throwing up for like thirty minutes straight?"

"No, it was-" Uhura started.

"Thirty minutes?" Jim felt the anxious feeling in the pit of his stomach grow.

"Actually I heard it was longer than that, because he like stopped but then started again." Sulu said fully engrossed in the gossip.

"Awe, poor Mister Spock." Chekov expressed through sympathetic eyes. No one liked to be sick, and he assumed neither did the first commander. "He vas acting strange during ze shift."

"He was a little more stiff than usual, wasn't he Uhura?" Sulu asked the communications officer.

"I'm not s-" Uhura bit lip as once again she was interrupted.

"Oh really? What if it had to do with yesterday's away mission?" Lidia asked.

"That could be it. He was only there for like five seconds, saying something like the atmosphere wasn't suitable for Vuclans or whatever." Sulu sipped at his water.

Jim twitched a bit, he'd almost forgotten about the away mission. He'd been so caught up in all the madness that he didn't pay attention anything or anyone specific. Everything yesterday had been so chaotic and so...so...

"No, I don't think that wa-"

"Really? I have to tell Charlotte about this now." Lidia exclaimed.

"No, don't te-"

"She probably knows about it now. Everyone's talking about."

"I doub-"

"Da, it vas eweryvhere."

"I really doubt Charlotte knows, she's not really into news that's going in the ship. I wonder if the science department knows?"

"Lidia, do not te-"

"They should be notified if Spock's sick right? That's not a bad idea."

"That's not a go-"

"They should alre—eh?" Chekov jumped startled by the suddenly banging knows beside him.

"Enough! All of you! Spock is! He's fine! He's just okay you got it! Stop gossiping! We're not in high school anymore!" Uhura shouted in frustration. She couldn't stand it any longer and everyone in the Mess Hall knew it.

Lidia diverted her gaze before quickly stating her goodbye and jutting out of the Mess Hall. There was a long silence from everyone else, except for Uhura who proceeded to rant about the insanity of the crew and the disrespect they were showing for personal matters. It was ridiculous how something simple as someone being sick riled everyone up. Yes, it was someone who always seemed to impenetrable, but that did give people the right to create an uproar about. Uhura knew very well that Spock was a very private person, and clearly disliked anyone to engage within his privacy. He held it to the up most importance to keep his personal life hidden and away from the masses, even Uhura.

"So Captain you're sporting a new accessory...Captain?" Sulu commented trying to change the subject after a long strand of silence, but it wasn't working very well. He could feel the Captain beside him tense up, and it was awkward.

"I can't believe everyone! Gossiping like crazy animals! Most of them weren't even there! Why is it such a big deal if someone just throws up! It's because of the stupid replicat-!"

_"Lieutenant."_

Uhura grit her teeth, she was being interrupted once again. She quickly snapped at whoever was invading her speech.

"Wha!-...t..." but once Uhura found her caught in the eyes of her invader, she froze.

Her captain was looking at her with something she'd never seen Jim express in his face. A seriousness she never knew anyone, especially not Jim, to possess. She wasn't the only that noticed, she was sure Sulu and Chekov did as well, because they both quickly silenced themselves. The intensity of his blue eyes felt maddening...and she felt almost scared.

"Yes...Captain?"

"Is Spock sick?"

Uhura swallowed and cleared her throat. It felt like a command rather than a question. He made it sound like her lively hood depended on the answer. The demand and what seemed to be like anger in his voice was over powering to her. It didn't feel like the Captain anymore. It was like someone else was just in Jim's body at the moment. Because Jim wasn't this serious...was he?

"I-I...don't know..." Uhura stammered unsure exactly how she should answer.

She was being honest though. No matter how much she wanted to know what was going on with Spock, it was unlikely she'd ever know. Uhura didn't seem to ever know what was going on with Spock even though she tried, and weakly she still tried. Staying in the dark about the people she cared about hurt her, but there wasn't anything she could do. Not with someone like Spock. She wasn't going to be his "t'hy'la", and he did break her heart.

The communications officer forcibly averted her eyes downward, she couldn't look at Jim's eyes and doubted anyone could at that moment. But when she looked back up,

Jim was gone.

* * *

**Author:** Once again thank you for all those that have reviewed!

And about the OC, well from what I looked up apparently the Enterprise has like 400 something crew members. So I just made up one XD.

Also I've tried to find information about the mind meld and like other things but a lot of it is actually vague and general. XD

I'm still learning. Chekov is hard to write too. Hehhhh...

Oh! And remember to review please!

I'll write as long as I know people are reading it!

Anyone want to be my Beta? Leave me a note or whatever to let me know! ^_^

Thanks again!


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